Orlando Pirates Season Has Been Epic

Seeing Pirates Play This Season Is Like Watching A Thriller Movie With Bad Acting

I’m what you call a movie buff. When I get spare time from getting high off tranquillizing drugs, getting drunk, or pretending like I’m working, I indulge myself with movies. The best films are those with (a) simple plot (b) action/drama (c) good acting. Last week I decided cancelled my Netflix subscription and simply wait for  Orlando Pirates games to get my fix of cinematic entertainment. Their matches have all I’m looking for in a good flick: (a) simple plot – they need to win (b) action/drama – own goals, good goals, goalkeeping mistakes etc. (c) good acting – this is where they fall short, their coach doesn’t have much of a personality and the team’s performances have been below standard. But, I’d take 2 out of 3 any day. 

Last night, Orlando Pirates came away 3-2 winners against Polokwane City. The game had it all: bad officiating, red cards, bogus penalties, missed sitters, good goals, and poking of the eyes. Everything you’d want from a football match. 


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Since Rhulani took over in August, Pirates have been involved in more matches of this ilk. They may be a correlation between the two. In their game before Polokwane City, Pirates played Kaizer Chiefs in a match that had a bit more drama than what we’d call normal. The game also ended 3-2 but Pirates were on the losing side. Own goals, red cards, and frantic end-to-end football was the order of the day in that fixture too.

As fun as these games may be, it comes across as if Orlando Pirates aren’t in control of the games they play in. This is detrimental to their success and their supporter’s healthcare savings. Just winging it isn’t going to produce consistent results over a sustained period of time. Pirates’ best player Thembinkosi Lorch is finding himself in hot water for his discipline. He got sent off against Polokwane City last night. He also got away with a stomp on Kaizer Chiefs’ Khama Billiats leg in the derby earlier this month. Rhulani Mokwena came to his defence,

“Unfortunately, we forget that he’s still reigning Footballer of the Season. He is the Footballer of the Season,” Mokwena told reporters.

“And sometimes, I think we put undue pressure because of social media – some of the things that he reads also; the expectations are based more on that, but I always tell him he’s still the best player in the country.”

Being the best player in the country doesn’t disqualify you from being the best dunderhead in the country. Mokwena needs to sort that mess out because it’s only going to get worse. Orlando Pirates have no discipline and therefore are entertaining us with their ineptitude. This, again, has to fall on the coaches lap.  

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